What happened to #FiftiesNotFat?

Well, you see – my friend Brian said “Hey, I have to take my kids to Tucker on Saturday.  Want to go for a ride?”  … um…. this brought on a sort of anxiety I’m not proud of.  You see, a couple years ago I had nearly 4000 miles by this date.  I was in really good shape and preparing to ride six gap.  This year, I think I have about 100 miles – mostly mountain biking – which is fun, but not so much in the hot.  I said “Might as well, its somebody to ride with!”

As with anything you haven’t done in a while, you have “issues”.  This ride was not without it’s own set of issues that started even before I got out the door.  You see, I took my car to get worked on – and left my pump in the back.  I was able to inflate my tires enough using a motorcycle pump – which got me started.  I rode up to Tucker and used Brian’s pump.  Apparently, Brian’s air sucks or something.  (More on this later).

SO … I ride up to Tucker – a ride I’ve done about 50 times.  I find Brian and we head off to Stone Mountain.  A lap I’ve done over 100 documented times.  He wants to try a lap of the “inner loop” and the “outer loop”.  Whatever – my ass is going to hurt tomorrow any way… lets do it.  Inner loop goes okay, slow, but not the slowest I’ve ever gone.  We turn around and do the outer loop.  I’m getting into it – I am *ENJOYING* riding my bicycle.  I am not really even missing my ‘climbing bike’  We are 1 stupid ass climb from leaving the park and I completely lose my shit.  I have no earthly idea what exactly happened.  I got too close to the concrete curb thing (whatever the hell you call that flat part before the curb goes vertical).  I realize I’m about to ride into a storm drain and try to save it.  I wasn’t going fast at all …. and *BAM* I eat shit. Hard. I slammed down onto my shoulder and head.  The hit was insanely hard.  I didn’t scrape my hip, knee or elbow, I just drilled my head and elbow.

Well – you probably already know all that cuz, like a complete dumbass, posted backboard pictures on Instagram.  Here is a Protip:  Wait until you can reply and have told your family you’re on the way to a trauma center for your latest act of stupidity … and your friend really will try to text, call, FB, Whatsapp and every other mode of communication.  They want to help, but if you don’t have glasses or the ability to reply you feel like a complete dumbass. Now – to further add to that if you are in #ConcussionProtocol you wont be able to figure out how to undo it and you will be more confused. So – Summary – Don’t gram until you are stable.  Trust me on this.

Anyway – after 10 days, concussion protocol, a trip to the Ortho to find out my sternoclavicular is severely sprained I am here to say – the fog is lifting, the arm is moving and the motorcycle has been ridden.

SO …. what the hell does all this have to do with the #FifitesNotFat hashtag?  Well, I’ve slacked a little, and been unable to work out much, but this is a 10 year hashtag and 10 days aint gonna set me back.  I’m pondering trying out a bicycle in the very near future and my quest to turn back transgressions is alive and well.

Yes – this blog post is an ADHD nightmare – but that being said, I enjoy writing it – maybe somebody (that isn’t from russia and wants me to buy something) will enjoy it!

Peace out, party people!

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