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  • Oh My God, Becky …. Look at MY butt!

    Posted on March 8th, 2016 Scott No comments

    Okay, in a single blog post I am going to tie together – in no particular order … Team Sky, track racing, blue cocaine, Mt. Evans, Sir Mix A Lot, professional wrestling, multiple KOM trophies and odd ‘hood happening!  Let’s get started!

    A little back story … In the late 90s when I moved to Colorado Springs, I started my track racing “career”.  There was a professional wrestler named Scott (notice I have the same name) Steiner.  He was called “Big Poppa Pump”.  He also named himself the “Big Bad Booty Daddy”.  Well, sharing his first name and a large gluteus maximus – my friend Terry and I some how or another named me the “Big Bad Booty Trackie”.  The name kinda stuck around various trash talking circles!

    My days of being BBBT have seemingly faded – but all of that may change…. Let me tell you the story!

    My friend Chad went supplement shopping and came home with some strange substance.  He and his wife consumed this substance and nick named it “Blue Cocaine.”  Chad said it really helped and gave me a dose.  I consumed this “blue cocaine” and headed out for a bike ride.

    Please note:  This was purchased over the counter – so one can speculate i’m still legal to compete in Rio!

    On my way over to Stone Mountain, I was cruising through the ‘hood when these two black women pass me and yell ‘look at dat azz!”  They probably didn’t expect the light we were approaching to change and/or me to catch them about 2.7 seconds later when I said “nothin but white chocolate” and made them laugh.  Probably the strangest bicycle-vehicle interaction i’ve had in a very long time.

    Now after all that happens, various rap songs all start running through my head … of course… big bad booty trackie got back some how happened.  Trust me when I tell you this won’t be on your radio any time soon!

    Anyway – I was really feeling pretty good.  Maybe it was the simple fact that I have actually trained recently – or maybe I was just jacked up on blue cocaine?  Who knows…

    As I roll into the Stone Mountain Park and head down the hill to the “two steps” I see a rider off in the distance.  Being as that the “old Scott” is starting to come out – I had to chase him…. which I did.  We roll down the long hill going into the “Two Steps” which is two steep little pitches which I carry in a lot of steam.  I roll past our Team Sky rider as we head up the second pitch.  I hear him suddenly get motivated.  I stand up and kick it, heck I even SHIFT UP and drive harder.  He surges but never gets past my bottom bracket.  BOOM!  KOM points.  Yeah, I keep track of random crap!

    Over the top, I am rolling pretty well.  He is smart and jumps on my wheel.  I am not really worried about it, heck … i’m honestly trying to just keep a good tempo until we get to the NEXT hill.  It’s a quick sprinters hill into the “special section” where cars cant bug us.  I roll that and can tell he is sitting back there the whole time.  Few small hills and here comes the big one.  It’s about a mile long and it makes me start thinking back to riding up Mt. Evans.  Okay – work with me here.  They are both MOUNTAINS… i’m riding up both.  One is like 28 mile long … one is like 1 mile… they both have a road.  Same thing, right?  I start thinking about how I beat my friend Terry up that mountain.  It was one heck of a crazy ass day, but in the end, I did make it to the top first.  I did that by “just riding up the mountain”.  I kept pedaling, so am thinking … you have 2 KOM points, but this is the big one … double points!  (yeah, all this REALLY does go through my head!) So here we go.  I settle in and I can feel him back there.  I even turn off my music so I can listen for his obvious attack.  It never came!  I even put distance on him going up the hill!  (Yeah, its not really a mountain).  At the top, he wasn’t to far back so I chilled for a second and gave him a fist pump.  He said “Good ride, you made me work really hard”.  I told him he did the same.  (I took over a minute off my last trip up the hill… Strava told me).  The feeling of going hard and accomplishing something was really fun.

    So … maybe the Big Bad Booty Trackie still has a little something in there?

    Perhaps the most fun I have had on a bicycle in 2+ years.  Not just the crap I wrote about here – it was a good ride.  I rode strong, I felt like a cyclist… without motor in front of it!  Most of all – I felt my inner competitor waking up and taking on something non-trivial (even if in the big picture, it really is trivial).

    Now – I’m going to mention George C. Scott Patton and the movie Avatar so I can completely confuse search engines!

     

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