Today started like most any other day. All was well, I was enjoying my day. It was a good day. I didn’t have to use my AK… enough of that.
Much like many other good days – I went on a lunch ride. I left feeling “eh… so so…”. As I rode through the park, the warm air warmed my face… I felt better and better. I started to really roll pretty well. I was on top of a good gear, had a good spin going – it was really cool.
I made the turn around and now had a bit of a tailwind – even better! Wow – a great day! That’s when it all came apart – all because of one simple 9″ long piece of metal we like to call a spoke. *DOINK* the another spoke breaks and I am out of commission. The wheels I am riding are very “tight” wheels, which means if they have any issues, they sort of go “bonkers”. Mine did. I can not ride like this as the tire hits the frame and would cause tire failure.
Now I have to walk… I figure I will head to the parking lot and look for a friendly. What else can I do? I’m to far to have anybody rescue me… my co-worker with a bike rack is working from home. Off we go. It’s about a 2 mile walk to the parking lot from here. In retrospect, maybe I should have gone the other way, but – whatever.
About a mile later I am walking past this big grassy field. In the field, there are four geese. They are eating grass. I don’t eat grass. I don’t like geese, I don’t want to do anything to any geese. I just want to go back to work and end this shitty ride. That’s when Gus the big goose decided to big boy me… WTF? He starts running at me all wide and what not. Hissing, screaming… and fluffering like a goose does. I am like … holy crap, are you kidding me? I keep walking but he is coming fast. As he gets close enough to bother me I yell at him a few times … Gus has no fear. He is like robo-goose. He gets closer and I take defensive action and swing my bike shoes at him. Oh… let me tell you, if you are thinking about defending yourself against a goose attack – red and white bike shoes are NOT the right thing. Apparently this is just short of a weapon of mass-goose-destruction or something and all of Gus’s friend decided to join in the attack. They ran/flew at me in a goose like manner … I put my bike between the geese and me and was using it as a shield. They are all hissing and spitting … unbelievable. It was like a big “A-Team” battle. All kinds of action – but no direct hits. I never hit a goose. No geese touched me but if it was on video – I would win America’s funniest home video – I am sure.
Well, geese dont fight for long … but I think I heard Gus say “I’ll be back!”
I did finally get back to work. Not a great lunch ride. Not a great day so far…
I think I’m going to have GOOSE for dinner!