A much better day for Max

Before I go into any details – I have had a moment of clarity.  I’ve figured out something… October is a rough month.  Not sure why, but it is.  Last year, Max had a seizure and I was told my employment w/Borland was coming to and end.  This year, we have the situation at Max’s school.  All of these have really worked my brain, my emotions, my everything.  I’m really kinda frazzled and not sure why.  In the face of the situation – I am a rock.  I handle things really well.  Behind the scenes…. I’m a wreck.  I am a classic alcoholic.  I constantly compare my insides to your outsides.  If you don’t do this – consider it a blessing and never try.

Last night – at our “Building U” class, I shared a bit about last October.  I won’t go into any details – but I shared about when Max had his seizure.  The thoughts and emotions that went through my body.  I was so scared that my little man was stuck in an ambulance by himself.  I remember waking up in an ambulance in OCTOBER of 2000 not knowing where I was and being very scared.  Of course, I was 32 – not 5.  I didn’t want Max to be scared.

Last night – I used this blog to vent my feelings.  My friends, family and ‘following’ rallied.  Thoughts, prayers, comments, tweets, dms and more flowed in all night and day.  It felt good to have the support.  When I got to school this morning, we quickly found the Director and talked to her.  Max was upset, but not too bad.  She assured him he would not be hurt and she would talk to his teachers.  She was very understanding and sweet to him.  When I left school – I felt like I did last October.  I didn’t want Max to be scared.  I was a wreck.

Anyway – shortly after I got to work, I got an email from the owner of the school.  She was already there, had talked to everybody involved and helped to come up with a solution.  She knows Max very well and stressed that he gets along very will in the Pre-K society.  For that reason, the fact that he reached out to me meant it was very important to get on top of this and she assured me they were.

About an hour later, we got another email from the Director.  She detailed what had been done – including details of the discussions and actions taken.  They had a meeting with all the kids and worked through acceptable and unacceptable behavior.  This, apparently, upset Max because he now wanted to go outside, but was worried they wouldn’t let him.  They solve the problem by all going outside for a fun play session!  Max had lots of fun.

Tonight – Max told me about his day in some more detail and said they had lots of fun, but the little guy in question did something.  I was a little worried but it turns out he “Lasered” him.  I said what is that?  He tried to explain it and couldn’t.  I said “Do it to me”.  Max pointed his arm at me and went “ZZZzzzzziiitttt  ZZZZzzzzzziiiittt” (best way I can type a laser sound).  I told him that was probably ok.  He said “but if he had a real laser he could kill me”.  I told him lasers were illegal at school and he was cool with that.  I can assure you – if Buzz Lightyear shows up at school, Max will be on top of disarming the laser!

So anyway – things are much better.  I’m still all wrapped around my axle – but that’s kind of how I roll.  A little wrapped, a little twisted.  Only a few more days left in October.

Thanks for being there!